hola blog!
i am, by nature or nurture, a tshirt and jeans girl. i am also a big girl (read that to mean 'overweight'). at one point in my life i weighed 300lbs. yeah. right? i've lost a lot of weight, got sick and lost some more...then i got healthy(er) and gained a little bit back. i'm holding steady where i am and i'm happy with that (at least right now - eating to lose weight is so far down on my list of things to do...that'll be another blog). but having been as big as i was, my body is in a funky position. it's too gross for me to talk about...LOL it seems all my excess weight/skin is in my abdomen. i hate it and it's the bane of my existence. in fact, i'm currently saving up for a tummy tuck (i have $3.27 out of the $20,000 i will need...lol)
yeah, so what..? what does that have to do with the price of eggs in china? nothing, really. but while i was at the mall with my daughters yesterday i caught sight of myself in quite a few full length mirrors. i've seen myself before. i have a full length mirror on my bedroom door. i've been shopping. i know i'm a meaty woman. but yesterday...wearing denim shorts and a white tshirt (which is odd because 98% of my tshirts are black...lol) i saw this....ickyness. thinner arms and legs and a big belly. ugh! i'm not hating on myself, really i'm not. i just think my eyes got opened - i don't know - maybe yesterday was epiphany day.
i've been adding some clothes to my jeans and tshirts now and then for when i'm a "professional" but finding full figured clothes at thrift stores is a nightmare (i am NOT 90 yrs old, just fluffy) and really...there are two kinds of clothing styles for big girls...old lady granny stuff or really super slutty stuff. or you have your designers that will take a thinner woman's and just add more fabric not taking into account that our bodies are different in more ways than just size.
i bought a top/shirt at target at the beginning of summer...when S was graduating high school and J was graduating middle school. it was $2.48 and black. i couldn't pass it up. i couldn't pass it up but i never wore it. i was rummaging through my closet today because all i could see in my head was the full length 3 way mirror images. grrrrr...
okay!! so i grab a pair of jeans and rolled up the cuffs and grabbed this shirt. as i take the tag off i notice something. omg. o.m.g. it's a maternity shirt. yikes!! :::sigh:::: okay, well...i'm determined to NOT wear a tshirt today so i threw it on and walked out into the livingroom.
and what do i hear? wow - that looks good on you! where are you going mom? nice! .....wow...not what i expected but i like it. the shirt stays. best part is that it doesn't look maternity...it's cute...and flattering. no one but me knows it's maternity. i even made a point to look at myself in the three way mirrors while we were at target getting my meds. dang girl - that IS really nice!!!
so to carry on from yesterday's epiphany day - because of my body shape (being really heavy, losing weight, gaining wieght, losing weight and having no abdominal muscles whatsoever) - maternity clothes (tops specifically) are flattering on me. i mean, of course, i have to find the ones that don't say "baby on board"...LOL
but it was so nice to try on clothes (maternity or otherwise) that were flattering and didn't accentuate my err...curves (aka muffin top). and nothing granny and nothing slutty. just don't start rumors and tell people i'm pregnant if you catch me shopping in the maternity section at target. (lol)
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